On race and hairdos

My bridesmaids accompanied me to a random strip mall in the middle of Indianapolis to get our hair done on the day of the wedding. I hadn't done a trial run, didn't have firm ideas on what kind of style I wanted, and didn't do any research on the beauty school other than to call and confirm prices, hours, and availability.

When we got inside, I kind of panicked.

There was loud rap music playing, not as many stylists as we needed on duty, and I realized I had no idea what I wanted my hair to look like. Plus, the place was sandwiched between a Big Lots and a taqueria. I worried what my friends would think about the beauty school not having the glamorous, luxurious feel that Pinterest suggests all brides and bridesmaids should experience on wedding days.

Also, to be excruciatingly honest, I was worried because all the stylists were black, the two other clients were black, and the pictures on the wall featured black hairstyle models. The salon's website said they serve all hair types, but was I supposed to have picked up on some sort of unwritten clue? Had it been a mistake to bring five heads of white-person hair to a beauty school that apparently focuses on a different demographic? Had I committed some sort of social stumble? Would our hair even curl the same?

On my wedding day, I thought these thoughts. Sitting in a spinning chair smelling hair chemicals, I wondered why, despite having plenty of black female friends and acquaintances, I still couldn't say what was fact and what was fiction about our different hair types. And I wondered if wondering all this made me racist.

As the stylists began to transform mine and my bridesmaids' hair, I saw the good work they did and relaxed. It apparently didn't matter that our hair was a different texture than theirs. Of course it didn't.

But, why, then, weren't there more white - or, for that matter, Asian or Hispanic - clients visiting this beauty school?

And, so, on my wedding day, I thought about organic segregation. About how I see places clearly marketed toward different demographics, think, "that's not for me," and move on. Everyone does it. That's why companies make concerted efforts to include models of all races and ages in their ads when they're targeting their products toward the largest market possible. People gravitate toward places we already think we belong. I don't know how much of a beauty school's clientele comes from referrals vs. walk-ins, but I could see a lot of non-black walk-ins talking themselves out of visiting this salon.

Which is sad. Because the stylists did a wonderful job.

Presidential Contradictions, Sunday School Style

Today, the president declared that the U.S. will be protected by God.

He also said, "It is the right of all nations to put their own interests first."

Somehow, that second statement doesn't seem to jive with what I know about God. Scripture teaches us that "God is no respecter of persons. But in every nation, he that feareth him and worketh righteousness is accepted with him" (Acts 10:34-35).

May I proclaim one simple truth? We are all children of God. We all bleed the same color and have souls of equal worth, no matter where we live in this country - or in any other.

If you are one of Trump's "forgotten" who feels an entitled right to pursue your best interests at any expense, may I remind you that every decision that puts "America first" puts someone else - perhaps many people living in many other American nations and feeling forgotten just like you - second, third, and last. And decisions that make you feel remembered and benefited are likely to marginalize others.

In any system of government with any economic system, there will be winners and losers. No amount of government bureaucracy - or the elimination thereof - will make life in this fallen world fair. The task that is given to each of us is to bear our burdens well and help lift others' at the same time.

As we watch our leaders make decisions of international and domestic policy, may we remember that "inasmuch as [w]e shall keep the commandments of God, [w]e shall prosper in the land" (Alma 36:1) but "all those who are proud, and that do wickedly, ... shall be as stubble" (2 Nephi 26:4).

And may we remember that the first commandment of God is to love one another - not just when convenient or easy or when others are watching, but always.

Finally, as many of us struggle to feel heard or find peace in these trying times, let us remember that the President isn't the only one who makes decisions. Senators and representatives send out surveys and accept calls and mail so they know what matters to their constituents. Beyond that, we have a Heavenly Father who is aware of all our frustrations and hears all of our prayers with complete attention. His ways are not our ways nor his thoughts our thoughts, but his timing is perfect and his plan supreme.

This dreary January day may not be the darkest of those to come but, in the end, the sun will shine brighter than we've ever seen.

#ComeWhatMayAndLoveIt